


The Horny Heart

by jashykins



Category: The Normal Heart (2014)
Genre: Erotica, Interspecies, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-23
Updated: 2016-04-26
Packaged: 2018-02-05 21:29:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 11,339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1832926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jashykins/pseuds/jashykins
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jay, former human and current whatever, meets a man named Ned Weeks. As things progress towards honesty, Jay finds herself/himself not able to stay away from the man. Not even when things get painful.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I want to thank Omar for being both my enabler for this fic and the guy who helped me brainstorm a title for this fic. It was another friend who helped me decide between two titles and end up with this one.

I sniffed the ocean air as my now male human feet were planted in the sand. I listened as the waves crashed onto the shore. I opened my eyes and looked at my surroundings. I had been to many places over the five hundred years that I had lived.

I had gotten to where I was now as a human female that had been twisted and turned into something non-human. Something that had ended up changing my sex. It was only with the ability to shapeshift, read minds, and a kind of immortality that I had lasted this long. Near the beginning, others had tried to hunt me as they thought I was a demon. They never went after those who wronged me, that was my job.

I had come to this little outing to see someone. I tended to watch from afar as forming a relationship, of any kind, frightened me. I never started out telling any of my lovers the truth, I waited until I trusted them. I didn’t want them to run off and tell someone. Most would think they were crazy, but others would know and so try to hunt me.

This someone I had met at another such outing and had gotten attracted to. I had made a body that I thought he would find attractive. I didn’t mess with making a whole new personality, but kept my own. It wasn’t like if things didn’t go right that I couldn’t escape.

“You new here?” The man I had been thinking of having a fling with asked, startling me slightly with his sudden appearance.

Besides his gorgeous outer appearance, he was a very outspoken gay rights activist. If he had been a fighter back when I had been human, he would’ve been feared on the battlefield.

“I’m Ned Weeks.” He said, holding out his hand.

While I was wearing swimming trunks, Ned was wearing shorts and a white shirt.

“Jay.” I said. I shook his hand and cursed myself for saying my real name. “Like Blue Jay.”

Ned looked like he was holding back a laugh. I smiled and shook my head.

“It’s a-“ Ned started and I put a hand up.

“You say it’s a good name and I will know you’re lying.” I said with a smile.

Ned’s smile was like sunshine and his body…even clothed it seemed sexually charged.

“So how long are you going to be here?” He asked.

“Depends.” I said.

“On wha-“ Ned said and figured it out quickly. “So you came here to-“

“I guess get a date.” I said and allowed my eyes to wander his body as he tried to decide how to react.

From looking at him I could tell he was in confusion about how to react. Whether he should kiss me, fuck me, or act indifferent. He was managing to act like all three at once.

“I’m busy tomorrow.” Ned said, embarrassed.

“But tonight?” I asked, touching his shoulder.

“I need to be prepared.” Ned said and I could tell there was a bigger bulge in his pants now. “But tomorrow night I’ll be free.”

In reply I kissed him lightly and was surprised when he answered back harder and put his hands on my head. Gripping me. After a few seconds we just looked at each other. I felt invigorated with that fierceness from him. That he had a point where he couldn’t help but react, even if the more rational side told him not to.

Afterwards Ned seemed a little embarrassed.  
  
“Tomorrow night.” I said and then he gave me directions to where he was staying.

We talked for a few more minutes and then went our separate ways until the following night.


	2. Chapter 2

I had prepared something for the little dinner Ned and myself would have. I had tried to find food that he was interested in. Chinese food was now on my table because of my research on Ned. I had tried cooking some myself, though I wasn’t good at cooking. I usually killed my own food, which my natural body was made to do, or prepared simple meals. It was very rare that I actually made a meal.  
  
This time I was on the lookout for Ned’s mind. If I wasn’t looking for someone, and was distracted, they could sneak up on me. But now I was on the alert for him while still making sure that no one would try and kill me during the date.  
  
Looking around I didn’t like the fact that the hotel room didn’t have a big enough kitchen. Not that I would know what to do with a full sized kitchen. But I would have had the chance to make the dinner better.  
  
As those thoughts were going through my mind I felt Ned’s mind. He was happy and nervous. Excited and worried that things would go wrong. I would treat him well tonight.  
  
I waited for him to knock on the door before opening it. He looked good, not that I had ever seen him look bad. But maybe it was the fact his mind was so happy that he looked even better.  
  
“Hi,” I said, unsure of how to follow it up.  
  
“Chinese?” Ned asked as he handed me a bottle of wine.  
  
I took it and, as I headed to the kitchen to open it, I said, “Yeah, cooked it myself. Don’t cook often so I probably messed it up.”  
  
Ned shut the door and followed me into the kitchen.  
  
“Do you cook for all your dates?” Ned asked with a smirk.  
  
I looked around for a wine opener and finally found one.  
  
“Only the good looking ones.” I told him. “And those are in short supply.”  
  
From Ned’s mind I saw him observing my ass. I wanted to stop the dinner to just let him pound me and then for me to take him. Everything ending with loud moans and cumming on each other. But I knew Ned was one of those people that needed the acts before he would be comfortable fucking me. At least with a date like I was providing him with.  
  
But at least if I did things correctly then I would have a great payoff.  
  
I poured the wine and took the glasses and handed one to Ned. I sipped my own glass.  
  
“You don’t like red wine?” Ned asked, slightly worried.  
  
“Nah,” I told him. “Just one of those drinks where it’s like stepping into a cold lake. It takes a few seconds for you to adjust.”  
  
My next sip didn’t produce the same reaction on my face, at least Ned didn’t ask me if I really did like the wine.  
  
After that we started eating. I preferred hunting my prey and the blood going down my face. But I was more concerned about Ned’s enjoyment of the food over mine at the moment. Luckily he didn’t seem to have problems with the food and, instead, turned to ranting about one of his big passions: gay rights.  
  
“We shouldn’t have to hide. You’re not ‘in the closet’, are you?” Ned asked, his food now forgotten as he waited for my answer.  
  
“I am.” I replied and then realized what I had just said.  
  
There was something about Ned that made it hard for me to think. I had told him my true name and now I had talked about hiding what I really was. Not that he’d know that.  
  
“But you shouldn’t be. None of us should be. We’re not something disgusting that parents have to hide their kids from.”  
  
“You mean the pedophile bullshit?” I asked as I put my fork down. “Or do you mean people not realizing that we’re people too?”  
  
I was a person. I was important. It didn’t matter that I wasn’t human anymore, but a lot of people thought so. They thought that I was a demon from Hell and deserved to be sent back.  
  
“So why do you hide?” Ned asked. “Why not just let it out? You don’t live or depend on anyone. You can be yourself.”  
  
“I have tried to be myself.” I told the man angrily with such passion that Ned was stunned into silence. “But every time I tell the wrong person or let something slip, people I love die. People I love die while trying to keep what I am a secret.”  
  
“Where did you live?” Ned asked, seeming to strain to get words out.  
  
“A bad place.” I lied to him. “A really bad place. But hopefully I’ll be able to find a better place.”  
  
I wanted to tell Ned so badly that I had been hiding and running for my life for five hundred years. That I hadn’t grown up in a bad town, but had been made into something others considered a beast.  
  
I looked at Ned and without touching his mind I could tell he was going through waves of emotion. He was twitching and I knew that my plight, even if he didn’t fully understand it, intrigued him. He was understanding it, to an extent, and was starting to like me.  
  
I didn’t want to wait a second longer to get him naked and so got up quickly. He was surprised at the speed I went to him with, but once I kissed him he returned it. Our tongues touched as I ran my hands roughly through his hair.  
  
He started feeling my hard cock through my pants, not waiting for my pants to be off to touch it.  
  
He liked me and I liked him. This was going to be a rough night in all the right ways.


	3. Chapter 3

Ned stopped kissing me when he realized where his hand was. I kept it where it was with one of my hands and smiled. I smiled at the expression that was now on his face. I could tell he was surprised at what he had done and was trying to control the desire to feel me.  
  
I kissed him lightly on the head as I undid my pants. As soon as they and my boxers were down enough, I looked into Ned’s eyes. He must have seen the ‘go ahead’ expression in my eyes as his horniness made him make the correct decision. His mouth seemed to latch onto my cock as he started to suck on it.  
  
“Ah!” I said as I ran my hands through his hair again.  
  
I enjoyed the feelings of his lips on my cock and my fingers going through his hair. I bit my human lips as I controlled my moaning. As my moaning increased, Ned stopped and stood up. I knew he wasn’t finished with me, but I was impatient.  
  
Then his lips were on mine and he took off my shirt while not breaking contact.  
  
I let out a soft moan as his kisses traveled from my mouth down to my chest and ending with a light kiss on my cock. He stood back up and looked me in the eyes. I grinned. I repeated the same actions he had done to me with the added actions of taking off his pants, shoes, and socks. I also took mine off.  
  
Not even half a second later I found myself on top of the table that we had been eating off of mere moments before. Ned had hastily pushed off the food to make way for me. We both didn’t mind the sound of crashing plates hitting the floor.  
  
Ned tried to stay on top of me but the table wobbled too much for either of us to be sure that it would stay up. So we headed to the bedroom, but before we entered I pushed Ned onto the closed door. I kissed his neck as he grabbed my ass tightly and I moaned.  
  
I couldn’t stand it anymore and I positioned myself to enter him. I only left a second for Ned to realize what was about to happen and for his facial expression to try to figure out his emotions. Then I entered him and his hands continued to touch my ass as I thrust in and out of him.  
  
As I was close to coming he moaned loudly and his mouth was at my mouth. Then it was at my neck. At my shoulders. Tugging at my ear gently. Then Ned’s mouth moved away from me and he leaned back yelling. He came a few seconds before I did.  
  
I let my breathing calm down but before I could calm down too much, Ned opened the door and directed me to the bed. I was more than happy to agree to this.  
  
Ned gently, and yet with an amount of force I didn’t expect from the man, pushed me onto the bed and I went up a little further to give us both some room. He gave me the same amount of time to prepare for him entering me that I had given him when I had entered him earlier.  
  
To give myself more pleasure I entered his mind as he increased his thrusts. I felt all the pleasure he felt and all the pleasure I was feeling. It wasn’t long before I was nearly yelling. I grabbed his head and kissed his lips. I bit his lower lip and started to shiver as I was about to cum.  
  
And then I yelled into his mouth as I reached orgasm. A few minutes later I felt his cum and then I exited his mind, only entering his mind enough to feel it. He then exited me and looked at me. He took me into his arms and I lay my head on his shoulder.


	4. Chapter 4

I finished making my morning cup of coffee and looked around Ned’s apartment. I was temporarily staying here until I found an apartment of my own. I admit I was extending my stay to be with him longer.  
  
Being beside him…somehow it made me feel more alive than I had in a long time. Mind you there wasn’t all this bullshit about him being the first man I ever loved nonsense. You live for five hundred years and you find yourself in more than one relationship. They weren’t all long lasting or good, but they were there and I had loved others.  
  
I felt Ned’s mind and knew that he was tense as always. Being any type of activist meant you had a certain stress level to deal with on a daily basis. As I was his boyfriend now it was my duty to relieve him of some of that stress.  
  
So I decided to make him a cup of coffee as he went to the bathroom. When he came out I handed it to him.  
  
“Listen, I might be late tonight. It’s utter Hell right now. I just…it’s like I’m the only one that gives a damn.” Ned said as he drank his coffee in big long gulps.  
  
“We do need people to defend us. Hit people over the head with reality.” I said with a grin.  
  
“One day everyone will look at us like people, but it seems that no one is going to make the first move to fix the problem.” Ned said and finished his coffee. “And even people who want to fix the problem are not moving fast enough. Acting like people will be rational with their hate.”  
  
I put my cup of coffee down and started rubbing his shoulders.  
  
“Just calm down, Ned, and try to think clearly.” I told him.  
  
Ned took a deep breath and then breathed out. He repeated the process a few times until he was calm enough. His mind was still stressed but it appeared he was calmer than before. Even though he was only slightly calmer than before I was glad.  
  
I didn’t like that he got so stressed, but I was proud that he was so invested in a cause he cared about.  
  
“If only anyone in this fucked up world could think clearly.” Ned replied under his breath as he turned around to look at me. “How is the apartment hunting going?”  
  
I didn’t have to search his mind as his face told me that he didn’t want me to go.  
  
“I think there might be a few good places.” I told him. “That’s where I’ll be doing today. Exploring the places and seeing if they’re worth a damn. After I make a decision I’ll be gone for maybe a week or two. I’m doing a yearly hike and if I wait any longer…well, won’t be as good as in past years.”  
  
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Ned asked.  
  
“I’m…I’m sorry. It’s just I usually do it alone.” I told him and put a hand on his cheek, he leaned his face into it. “It’s a lot of work and I didn’t think you’d want to go since it is a lot of walking.”  
  
That was a lie. I had checked and double checked his mind. I knew he would want to go and that it would be impossible to tell him no, however I couldn’t lie to him about where I’d be going. I wanted to have some alone time to think about me and him. If he was one that I would tell my secret to or not.  
  
Ned finally looked me in the eyes and I knew he wasn’t fooled.  
  
“I know moving in with me was quick.” Ned said slowly. “If you want to spend some time by your-“  
  
“No,” I said, guilt suddenly overwhelming me and making me change my mind. “I want to spend it with you. Going with someone will be odd, but it’s a great trail and you’re one of the few people I’d take on it.”  
  
Why was Ned able to make me change my mind like this? I realized it was because I did love him and would have to tell him the truth sometime in the very near future. The thought always terrified me when I made the decision to tell someone as they then had a very large power over me.  
  
Sometimes they realized just how much power and decided to try and destroy me. I kissed Ned’s forehead and didn’t see how he could betray me. But I had been wrong before. I had nearly died many times because I trusted people too much.  
  
“You don’t have to take me.” Ned said, a nervous grin on his face.  
  
“Sorry,” I said and shook my head, holding him close to me. “It’s just that I’m so used to people coming after me and where I’m hiking is off the beaten path. But I’m not being fair to you.”  
  
“I promise I won’t ever hurt you. I don’t care that you’re pansexual and don’t believe any rumors about your sexuality. I was told I was mentally ill for loving men but they were wrong. They are wrong about you. I won’t attack you. I won’t harm you.”  
  
“I know you won’t. But I’ve just trained myself to avoid attacks so much that I distrust people I love.”  
  
With that, and a quick kiss, he finished getting ready and left. I looked again at my list of apartments to visit and thought that maybe I shouldn’t bother. I loved Ned and I wanted to be by him. But, then again, when I did tell him there might be a period of time where we were apart. Either until he died or he finally allowed me back in.  
  
With a sigh I took the list and left the apartment. My mind was now on full alert to everything I noticed with my eyes to everything I couldn’t see.


	5. Chapter 5

“You know where we’re going?” Ned asked me as the rain came down harder.  
  
“Yes.” I said again as I easily kept my balance on the hill.  
  
Ned was leaning against me as I was the one not to fall over nearly constantly. I had gone through much worse weather and so being stable came very naturally to me. I could have run fast down the hill and come back up for a quick attack.  
  
Luckily all I had to focus on now was bringing Ned to where I planned to camp for the night.  
  
“Not much further to go.” I reassured him as I felt his mind wondering why he had come with me.  
  
A few minutes later and we were setting up camp by a river. Ned was in charge of setting up the tent while I focused on making dinner. If he hadn’t been with me I wouldn’t have bothered making camp. I would’ve spread my wings and enjoyed the downpour.  
  
I would have enjoyed every little second of watery heaven.  
  
But as that wasn’t the case, and Ned didn’t know the truth about me, I set about cooking fish that we had caught the night before. It was a little hard with the rain constantly making the fire go out. I groaned loudly as it seemed like the fish would never get cooked. I looked at Ned and saw him also having problems.  
  
“I’ll trade.” I jokingly told him.  
  
“No thanks.” Ned replied and I smiled.  
  
He wouldn’t give up. At least on putting up the tent. But would he give up on me? I had felt his mind numerous times and I knew there was a chance he would push me away. It wasn’t like I was keeping a small secret from him, it was a pretty big thing.  
  
I finally did manage to cook the fish, but it wasn’t very well done. It was really crappy to tell the truth. But it wouldn’t kill Ned which was all that mattered. I could eat meat raw but Ned was human. Humans could die by eating undercooked meat.  
  
As I finished cooking, I turned to see Ned finally putting up our tent.  
  
“Good job.” I said with a smirk. “Now how about you eat something for your hard work.”  
  
“It wasn’t that hard.” Ned said but sat down next to me anyways.  
  
“Then you don’t want anything?” I teased.  
  
Ned just looked at me, a small smile forming in the corners of his mouth. I gave him some of the fish. I was glad that he didn’t mind eating in the rain. It wouldn’t feel like a yearly hike any other way.  
  
“So you do this every year?” Ned asked, trying to act as if the rain didn’t bother him.  
  
“Yeah,” I replied with a smile. “It’s just relaxing to get away from everything.”  
  
“Especially the people who would hurt you.”  
  
I nodded and couldn’t tell Ned how right he was. At least not at this moment. After we finished eating we headed back to the tent. I quickly removed my clothes just so I could be dry. Ned and I both put our clothes into a corner. We would hang them up when the rain stopped.  
  
Cuddling up next to him felt nice. To feel his mind so close and to feel his body heat…it was almost like I was in heaven. I looked at his smiling face and was glad that I had brought him along. Maybe tomorrow I would tell him. Maybe tomorrow I would let everything out. I trusted him and I wanted him to know who I was and what I had been through.  
  
Suddenly his lips were on mine and I ran my fingers through his hair. Wondering if he would be with me even after I told him. The revelation might be too much. Far too much.  
  
“What’s wrong, Jay?” He asked, putting a hand on my chest.  
  
“Just wondering how long this can last.” I said, telling him a half truth.  
  
“Don’t worry.” Ned said as he kissed my neck. “I won’t leave you.”  
  
His hand quickly wandered to my cock and squeezed it gently. I moaned softly, letting Ned handle me as he would.  
  
Ned slowly moved to lay on top of me. He kissed my chest and my hands grasped the sides of our bed. Well…more like blanket with pillows on top, but it was still a bed. I looked up into his eyes and didn’t have to go into his mind to know what he had planned.  
  
“Everything will be fine.” Ned whispered into my ear as he entered me.  
  
“Yes,” I moaned as he started thrusting.  
  
His mouth was on mine and I was kissing back as hard as I could. A desperate kind of kissing that Ned seemed eager to imitate. Or maybe he was imitating it to calm me down. In either case his touch was…suddenly I was on top of him and he held onto my hips to keep me steady.  
  
I grinned as he started letting out soft moans. I went faster and faster. Suddenly he was back on top of me and I felt my body start to shiver, my nails dug into his back. But then he exited me. I searched hi-my face was now facing the ground and Ned was kissing my back.  
  
“Please.” I whimpered, needing to come.  
  
I heard his breathing and knew he must be close. He was torturing us both with pleasure.  
  
He finally entered me and his thrusts were…  
  
“Ah!” We both yelled in unison, both relishing the touch of the other.  
  
“Ah!” I yelled out as he bit my neck and I came.  
  
A few minutes later and he came. Once he was finished we cuddled up again, my head on his chest.  
  
“You feeling better?” Ned asked me.  
  
“Yes.” I lied.  
  
As we both fell asleep I knew that telling him the truth would be hard, but he deserved to know. I loved him.


	6. Chapter 6

I hung up our clothing as the sun rose. There was no one nearby so I felt no shame in being naked. Though I was more concerned with anyone seeing my true form later. I had thought about telling Ned the truth all night and had decided today would be the day. Today would be the day that I told him everything.  
  
I felt his mind and guessed it would be a few more minutes until he woke up. I breathed in and out. Calming myself down as best I could.  
  
“Jay?” Ned asked as he got out of the tent.  
  
“Yeah?” I said a little more nervously than I intended.  
  
“Is anything wrong?”  
  
I gulped and had to decide quickly what was the best way to tell him. Tell him that the man he loved wasn’t exactly a man and wasn’t exactly human.  
  
“Ned, I haven’t told you everything.” I told him and sat down so that my feet were in the river.  
  
I was glad when he was silent. He knew that there was a time to talk and a time to remain silent. Especially when a man he loved was going to reveal something beyond important. I knew he may scream and yell later, but he would be silent as I told him my tale.  
  
“My name is Jay, that’s true.” I told Ned. “But I wasn’t always this way. A little over five hundred years ago I was a girl. A young, innocent human girl. Then some people experimented on me. I kept trying to escape time and time again, but I couldn’t. Finally they finished and I was…something else. I wasn’t human anymore and I wasn’t a girl. My family wouldn’t believe me when I went to them for help. They wouldn’t believe what I had become was me. It took awhile for me to learn my powers, so when I went to them they thought I was a monster.”  
  
My mother’s horrified face when she saw me played in my mind and made me glad that Ned had sat beside me so that I could lean on him.  
  
“It was all up to me to seek revenge. I took care of them. I killed those who had changed me. But years later I still found myself hunted. There are others like me, but we don’t talk. Some of us are still ashamed of what we have become and others, like myself, feel secrecy is the safest option.” I finished.  
  
“Jay, whatever really happened isn’t that.” Ned told me. “You must have something repressed and made up that story to cover something more painful.”  
  
I broke away from Ned and looked him in the eyes.  
  
“I’ll prove it.” I said and focused.  
  
First I rose up two feet and then my physical features started to change. My neck grew and my face bulged. The color of my face turned to black and my mouth grew into a dragon-like snout. On my cheeks three bumps appeared and quickly turned into three small horns pointing towards my back on each cheek.  
  
The rest of my body had taken on the blackish hue and wings had sprouted from my back. I resisted flapping my wings as Ned’s face was in total shock and I didn’t want to scare him more.  
  
A tail grew from my back and two dragon-like talons took the place of my feet. My hands were the most human-like.  
  
The final thing to change this time around was my cock. It grew and then stopped.  
  
“I’m not lying.” I told Ned. “I have the ability to read minds, shapeshift, and have an extended lifespan. I don’t know if I will live forever or if I will die sometime in the future by natural causes.”  
  
“You’ve…read my mind?” He asked and I could tell that he was scared shitless.  
  
“Not all the time. Sometimes I just feel but don’t really explore it. Most of the time I don’t focus on any one person unless I think there might be a problem. With you…I tried to create a male form that would be appealing to you. I never started out thinking I would tell you. I didn’t know if I could trust you.”  
  
“So do you love me or are you just screwing with me?”  
  
“I love you or else I wouldn’t trust you. If I didn’t trust you I wouldn’t show you this part of myself.”  
  
“So you played me. You played me so you could fuck me. Five hundred years? How do I know you’re not getting off on this? That you don’t play other people, men and women, like a fool just to get to this point? How do I know you haven’t spent five hundred years perfecting this game of yours?”  
  
“I did use an unfair advantage to get to you at first. But only the first encounter. I don’t play around with people like that. It’s cruel mentally and if you tell the wrong people I could get killed.”  
  
“So have you killed people to keep your secret? How do I know that you’re not just going to kill me now?”  
  
“I have killed people that proved to not be as trustworthy as I thought. Ned, if you want me to leave I will.”  
  
“And do I have to keep looking over my shoulder to make sure you don’t decide to kill me in some way only a monster like you could?”  
  
I didn’t want to tell him that if anyone went after me when I left, I would kill him. That’s how I did things. That’s how I did things to keep safe and get revenge. But even now I didn’t think he would send people after me by accidently telling the wrong person.  
  
“No, I won’t.” I told Ned. “You have my word.”  
  
Ned nodded.  
  
“Then go. I can find my own way home.” He told me and I nodded.  
  
I didn’t think he could get home safely, but I wouldn’t interfere. This was a breakup. Maybe one day we would get back together, but not now. I jumped and flapped my wings. Soon I was high in the sky and Ned appeared to be the size of an ant in less than a minute.  
  
I flew away quickly as tears rushed down my cheeks.


	7. Chapter 7

“You come here often?” A guy at the bar asked me, a drunken grin on his face.  
  
It had been two months since I had last seen Ned. Two months and I hadn’t gone over to his place. I hadn’t pretended to be someone else to check up on him. He wanted his privacy and I was giving it to him. No matter how much I wanted to see how he was doing or if he had forgiven me.  
  
Right now I was at a bar and was in the form of a woman. A nice blonde with big tits. I had decided on a little change, it was always good to spice things up when you could. Five hundred years of the same old thing would have gotten very boring very fast.  
  
I just smiled at him as if his dumb pick-up line had been the greatest thing in the world.  
  
“You doing anything tonight?” He asked, still thinking he was some suave gentlemen.  
  
“Depends.” I said with a sly grin.  
  
I went to go over to touch him and pretended to spill my drink on myself. I didn’t need to read his mind to know that he was even more interested in me now than before.  
  
“Looks like I need to change.” I said, pretending to be sad. “Want to help me home? I’m afraid someone will…hurt me.”  
  
The man nodded and I started walking with him out of the bar when I felt…Ned’s mind? Without looking I made sure that Ned had noticed me and wanted to speak with me. It was no to the first and I didn’t know about the second.  
  
“How about I meet you in the restroom stall?” I told the drunk. “I can’t wait.”  
  
The man nodded and I knew I had bought myself a few minutes.  
  
“Ned.” I said, trying to hold back the hope in my voice.  
  
“I’m gay.” He said simply. “And it seems like you already have a customer.”  
  
“And I’m pansexual or bisexual, one or the other. I’m Jay.”  
  
He looked up at me and tried to see if I was lying. If in this woman there could be the man he had thought he had loved and the beast that was my true form. I waited a moment and resisted prying into his mind. I wanted to know if he had forgiven me but I owed him some respect.  
  
“Jay.” Ned finally said and I could feel something radiating off of him. “Listen, I might have overreacted. It was just…”  
  
“A big thing.” I told him, putting a hand on his shoulder.  
  
“You opened up to me, I should have…”  
  
“I understand, “ I said. “But right now I’m a little busy. Customer, remember?”  
  
As I was about to go he grabbed my arm.  
  
“You’re not always a woman.” Ned said and the wave of thoughts that went through his mind were nearly overwhelming.  
  
I saw thoughts of us resuming where we had left off, but I knew it wouldn’t be the same. Going through his thoughts lightly I knew that maybe fucking him now would provide a better outcome for us at the end of the day. Or maybe my need for him was making my thoughts blurred. I had missed him so much.  
  
“No, I’m not.” I said with a nod. “Follow me?”  
  
He let go of me and we walked out into the darkening city. My mind stretched out to make sure no one would attack us. We stood apart like friends would, neither of us wanted to start a conversation. We both didn’t want any questions to lead back to me and my secret. A well known gay person suddenly sleeping with a woman? Yeah, questions would be asked.  
  
As we entered my apartment building, I couldn’t feel any minds that were going to notice what I was going to do.  
  
I pushed Ned up against the wall as I quickly shifted to the male form he had first met me in. Our mouths met each other as my transformation finished and my clothes quit fitting me. Ned furiously tore my clothes off as I kissed his neck. Both of us breathing heavily, wanting this simplicity to last.  
  
As I struggled to get his pants off, he got mine off. When I had an opportunity, I entered him quickly.  
  
“Jay!” He moaned, trying not to yell. “Oooh…”  
  
“Shhh.” I told him and pulled on his ear with my teeth as I started to thrust.  
  
I liked this, I liked feeling him. I had missed this. I had missed him. Since I had revealed myself to him, I did something that I had wanted to do with him for a long time.  
  
“Ah!” Ned yelled and dug his fingernails into my back.  
  
I had let him feel what I was feeling as well as what he was feeling. We were two minds experiencing the other’s feelings and our own at the same time. One mind, but still distinct. In a dreamlike state I took off Ned’s clothing.  
  
“Jay?” He asked, his voice seeming to come from a distance.  
  
I smiled and I saw the expression imitated on his face. I knew how odd this was to experience the first time, the only reason I wasn’t freaking out was that I had had five hundred years to practice this. As I was thinking that I also felt everything he was.  
  
As if we had rehearsed for years, I pulled out and Ned pushed me up against the opposite wall. Ned entered me and we moaned as one. At the same time I was being pleasured by my lover, I was the one pleasuring my lover. I was taking and I was giving.  
  
I let out moans and yells of pleasure. I didn’t focus on whose mouth they were coming out of and then I came. No, not me, Ned’s body had climaxed. I pushed him to the ground and I was pushed down to the ground. I entered and was entered.  
  
As I thrust in and out of Ned’s body, his body squeezed my ass.  
  
My mouth yelled as I climaxed and then I pulled out to lie by Ned. I took his mind out of my mind and he had an amazed look on his face.  
  
“So you can do that?” Ned asked and I nodded. “Wow, sex is…”  
  
“Amazing, I know.” I said with a small laugh. “I’ve wanted to do that with you for so long. Now we better get up, someone is going to check up on the noise.”  
  
He nodded and we picked up our clothing before going to my apartment.


	8. Chapter 8

I yawned and quickly reminded myself not to stretch. I had gone to sleep with Ned in my true form. At least what had become my true form after I had been experimented on. I smiled as I felt and saw Ned feeling comfortable.  
  
We had been together for a few nights, but I knew we would actually have to discuss things now. I quietly got up and went to make some coffee for myself. I finished making the coffee as I yawned even louder. I felt Ned’s mind to make sure I hadn’t disturbed him too much and was glad to feel him still fast asleep.  
  
After half an hour, Ned came out and kissed me gently on the cheek. I wanted to take him now, but not before we had worked out where we stood. Our situation was…unique to put it lightly. I would live forever, or at least much longer than Ned, and I knew that the love we shared wouldn’t be the same. Not once Ned had calmed down.  
  
“What are you thinking?” Ned asked with a smile as he made his own cup of coffee.  
  
“Just…Ned, we’re not the same.” I told him, watching him sadly.  
  
He looked at me and I could feel the understanding coming off of him in waves. I saw the sadness in his eyes and I looked away when he looked to me to explain. But I couldn’t say anything, not yet. It would would be up to him to start talking.  
  
“We can be the same.” Ned said, trying to deny what he knew to be true. “You’re finally open with me and I’ll be open with you.”  
  
“Ned, I’m going to live forever.” I said sadly, looking at him. “One day you’re going to want to be with someone…with your lifespan. You’ll need someone to connect with and that won’t end up being me. It shouldn’t end up being me. I love you, but if you’re expecting me to be your one and only…that’s not how it’s going to be. And you know that.”  
  
There were a few minutes of silence. My tail went back and forth. I ended up placing it in front of my feet as I watched Ned try to decide what he wanted to do.  
  
“Are you…breaking up with me?” Ned asked slowly.  
  
“No!” I shouted, my wings expanding to their full length. “I don’t want to leave you, not again.”  
  
He backed away a few inches but quickly calmed down. Once he was calmed down a faint smile formed on his face. He still looked scared, but at least now he knew things were okay between us.  
  
“So what are you proposing?” Ned asked.  
  
“An open relationship. You and I can have our own partners but it isn’t until one becomes serious that the other has to say anything. You can have your love life and I can have mine.”  
  
“What if I don’t want anyone but you?” He asked, putting a hand on my monstrous face.  
  
“Trust me, Ned, you will.” I replied with a smile. “I don’t mind, I understand. Maybe one day I’ll find that one to be my one and only, but it’s not you. I do love you dearly and I don’t want to ever lose you again.”  
  
I cupped his face with my hands and gave him a deep kiss. He kissed eagerly back and I wrapped my wings around him. The taste of him and the way his arms wrapped around my neck made me feel like I wasn’t old. That I was normal.  
  
Ned kissed my neck and I moaned softly. I did my trick of having him feel the same things as I was. A low moan came from his lips and I grinned as I took his shirt off. I kissed his neck as I ran my hands down his chest. Every time I moved slightly down my, no his, chest we moaned. The combination of both of our need’s to fuck the other was nearly overwhelming.  
  
He suddenly went to his knees and my mouth was on his cock.  
  
“Ned…” I moaned as I felt his expert tongue on our cock.  
  
As my body shivered he took my cock out of my mouth and my boyfriend’s come went onto my chest. I folded my wings and sat down by him. My tongue licking up every drop of come from his chest. I pushed him back gently and got his pants off of him as quickly as I could.  
  
“I’ll miss this.” My mouth said.  
  
“Just us.” Ned’s mouth finished.  
  
I paused and we looked into each other’s minds. I saw Ned’s monogamy making it hard for him to understand how I viewed relationships, but he still knew that I loved him. I also saw that he believed I would one day change my mind.  
  
“Yes.” I didn’t concentrate who had said that or whose mouth it came out of.  
  
I entered Ned slowly, letting our excitement build up. The anticipation was at its peak as my boyfriend just had his dick in me but didn’t move.  
  
“Please…” Ned’s mouth begged and I slowly began to thrust.  
  
“More! Quicker!” Ned said and my body was compelled to go much faster.  
  
I let Ned control my body and watched his body quiver. My wings unfolded and flapped in time with my thrusts. My tail went up his back and into his mouth. His legs wrapped around me as he started to suck on our tail.  
  
I moaned as we shivered and came as one. I removed my cock and tail from him as I had our minds be separate again. He gave a final kiss to my tail as I helped him up.  
  
“You want me to use this more often?” I asked with a grin as I felt his mind.  
  
“Yes…” He said and moaned loudly as my tail slowly entered his ass.  
  
“Like that?”  
  
“Mmm…”  
  
“Later, then.” I said and removed my tail from his ass. “Next time. We have other things to do today.”  
  
“Yeah,” Ned said with a sigh. “The world needs me.”  
  
I gave him a gentle kiss as I changed into a human male.


	9. Chapter 9

A few years ago I had decided to take a break from Ned. I had wanted to explore a mountain range and I warned him that I wouldn’t be in communications with him for a little bit. Not having to pretend to be human had been freeing. More than freeing, really.  
  
I was able to ride the thermals and not worry about being spotted. Well, not worry as much as usual at least.  
  
It had been a relaxing time that had come to an end. Looking around my new place of employment, in a female body, I smiled. The people there were…well…normal people. None of them would attack me and that was a good thing.  
  
As I went to get some more coffee, I thought about surprising Ned. He didn’t know I was so close to where he lived and I knew he missed me. Not as much as before, but feeling his mind had revealed he was missing me in some form. I hadn’t seen him with anyone else and I hadn’t gone deeper into his mind to see if there was someone else.  
  
It was probably just the passage of time. Something I could understand if I were still mortal.  
  
In my mind I wondered what would be the greatest way I could greet him. To reassure him that I still loved him dearly but, from time to time, I needed my own space. I wasn’t into the whole soul mate idea and I doubted that would ever change.  
  
An image of Ned quickly entering me nearly made me drop my cup as it was unexpected. The thought hadn’t been mine. Going into the mind it came from I knew it to be an old one, but the person’s love for Ned hadn’t diminished, only had been hibernating for a little bit.  
  
Felix Turner.  
  
Looking up at him, he seemed to be wearing a happier expression than normal. He was excited. I nodded at him as we weren’t really friends. I was a new hire. An editor. This new version of me was straight and uninterested in the whole gay rights thing.  
  
“Samantha?” He asked and I turned away as I realized that I had been staring.  
  
“Yeah, any plans for this weekend?” I asked as I didn’t know what else to say.  
  
Felix looked good, I had to admit. If Ned ended up not going anywhere with him I’d be willing to go a few rounds with him. Or what if Ned wanted to include him? I wouldn't mind that at all either.  
  
"Not with you," Felix replied and the thought about Ned made sense.  
  
"Let me guess, a one night stand." I said, fitting into the whole anti-gay role.  
  
It didn't feel...it didn't feel right. Especially when Ned was brought up. But I was used to hiding my true intentions from most people and so I didn't break character now. This weekend wouldn't work, then, as Ned and Felix would be reconnecting.  
  
But afterwards I would talk with Ned. Surprise him, tease him.  
  
"I don't know." Felix said kindly but with an edge to his voice.  
  
Different from Ned's confrontational tone, but still fierce. I didn't see Felix as big of a fighter, but there was strength in him. I went through his mind as I wanted to know more about the instance of Ned and Felix's first meeting.  
  
As I felt the sexual encounter, I made an angry expression to hide how badly I wanted to fuck Ned now.  
  
"It'll just be a one night stand," I said with a roll of my eyes. "What else could it be? You queers should just quit pretending you can feel love."  
  
"Maybe you just need time to understand us." Felix replied.  
  
"Why the fuck would I need to understand you? I know what is right, I don't need you confusing me. Maybe if you spent a night with me then everything would be clearer for you."  
  
With that Felix turned away from me and I hid a smile. I really hoped that Ned became serious with Felix so that the reveal would be hilarious. And that body, along with Ned's, sweating on mine. So many things we could do to...entertain ourselves.  
  
I sipped my coffee with new dreams for tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't want to do a detailed recreation of Felix and Ned's first time as it is an adorable little scene. The whole first date thing is beyond adorable.


	10. Chapter 10

I was flying over the coast as a seagull. I loved flying by the ocean where humans gathered. All of them normal and usually happy. Young couples feeling the needs of their bodies for the first time. Virgins fucking for the first time and being unsure of what to do.  
  
It was like naivety was given a home.  
  
Things tended to be simple at the beach. At least nowadays.  
  
Back when I had been young...there were places that were comfortable, but nothing like they were now. You always had to be on the lookout or else you could find yourself dead. Nowadays there was hate but it wasn't like it was before.  
  
I knew there were certain parts of human nature that would never change and I had stopped hoping that hate would ever fade away. I had given up hope that I would be able to travel the world freely without wearing a disguise.  
  
I turned my flight from the beach to the city. I stopped here and there to either rest or eat. Seagulls could eat a wide variety of food and so I didn't have to worry about food. Not as much as if I had been human or a hawk.  
  
At every part of my journey I reached out for Ned's mind. I wanted to feel it again as getting closer made me wish I could take on my true form and rush to him. Sometimes I didn't think I loved him that much and at other times there was this pull.  
  
There were some people I could never let go of until they died. I imagined that I would be at Ned's funeral. Hopefully it wouldn't happen for a long time.  
  
I was now in the form of a pigeon and was nearing Ned's apartment. In his mind I felt worry about the new disease. A disease that was barely understood but being dismissed because it only affected 'the gays'.  
  
I felt Ned's annoyance that he seemed not to be able to get anywhere with either side. He also felt deeply for Felix. At least when I was gone there would be someone watching over one of the humans that I loved more than most.  
  
I flew down to an alley and shifted after making sure no one could see me. I shifted to the new form that Felix knew but Ned didn't.  
  
I hid in the stairwell as I heard Felix exiting the elevator. Oh, this would be entertaining for sure.  
  
I waited until he had passed to continue on my way to Ned's room. My pulse quickened as I was very aware of what would happen next. Or, at least, what could happen next.  
  
Knocking on the door, I managed to calm myself down.  
  
"What are you doing here?" Felix asked as he opened the door.  
  
"Hey, faggot." I said with a smile. "I noticed you walking by and thought I'd try and change your mind."  
  
"I'm with my boyfriend." He growled.  
  
"Maybe not by the day's end. Wouldn't you rather be with me than your...lover?"  
  
"Samantha, go."  
  
I felt Ned's mind rage and I grinned. Yes, only a few short seconds now.  
  
"If you continue on this way you'll be going to Hell and I think your body wouldn't be able to handle that." I said with a wink.  
  
"What's going on?" Ned asked as he took his place beside Felix.  
  
I could tell from experience that he was moments away from losing it. He would yell at me.  
  
"So your his faggot lov-" I started.  
  
"Get the fuck out!" Ned yelled interrupting me.  
  
"Glad you haven't changed."  
  
A small smile formed on Ned's lip and he turned to Felix. His face then seemed to do some complicated gymnastics as he tried to figure out his emotions. I didn't have to read his mind to know what was going on now.  
  
"This...this is Jay." Ned said. "It's complicated."  
  
Felix looked at Ned concerned but allowed me to enter. For over three hours Ned and myself explained who I was. What I was. I didn't mind Felix knowing who I was, I knew that was the only sure way that I could still visit Ned from time to time.  
  
I took off my clothes and changed. I spread my wings and yawned. I turned to Felix and felt him suddenly very interested in me. Well...one particular member.  
  
"This is how he really is." Ned said, rubbing Felix's arm. "He was playing a part before. Trying to blend in."  
  
"Does he..." Felix said and then looked at Ned. "I mean...will you two still..."  
  
Ned kissed Felix hard on the mouth. Felix's arms around the neck of his lover. I could go on the rooftop and still feel what he felt, but that would be an invasion of privacy. I turned to go but Ned looked up at me.  
  
When they stopped kissing, Felix looked me over again.  
  
"If you and Ned want to be exclusive I won't get in the way." I said, it was hard for me to deny my needs for Ned. "I will still visit, but nothing will happen between us if you don't want it to."  
  
"I'll need some time to think about it." Felix replied and put his head on Ned's shoulder.  
  
Ned and I looked at each other. He nodded at me and I read his mind. I could tell, without going in too deep, that Ned wanted our relationship to continue and to get Felix on board with the idea. He was willing to include me in their relationship.  
  
He didn't want to lose me and I didn't want to lose him.  
  
"Maybe I can help you decide." I said and walked over to the couple.  
  
As I leaned down, I shared minds with him. We shared our minds. We shared our bodies. And, when we kissed, I felt longing build up in him. The need to enter me and the fear of if this was the right thing to do.  
  
As the monster pulled away from me, I turned to Ned. I separated our minds and smiled at Felix as he seemed utterly confused on how to react.


	11. Chapter 11

"Jay!" Felix yelled out and I smirked.  
  
I was outside letting the ocean air sink into my nose. Being in my true form was more than a little uplifting. I was now living with Felix and Ned. It had taken a nice, rough session with Felix to let him feel comfortable.  
  
Not that he was fully trusting of me. But we both loved Ned and did our best to keep the man happy.  
  
"What is it?" I asked, turning my head to see Felix come out.  
  
"I nearly fell in the shower." He said angrily.  
  
"But you didn't."  
  
"But you placed things so that I would almost. Seeing how I think."  
  
"Don't worry, it was just a prank." I said, touching Felix's face.  
  
Where once he would've backed away without thinking, now he leaned into my hand. I felt his mind calm down as he started to find my little joke amusing. Well, amusing enough so that he wouldn't come after me.  
  
"Ned will be back soon." I said.  
  
"You're going soon." Felix replied.  
  
I didn't live with Ned and Felix at all times. I still needed to travel and explore the world. I couldn't stay in one place all the time. That grew boring, at least to me. But I did spend a good majority of time with my two current lovers.  
  
"But I wi-" And then something came to the forefront of his mind.  
  
I realized that Felix was much stronger than he appeared. Only a few could hide their thoughts from me. Their deepest fears. I don't think he could've held this secret from me for much longer, or maybe that was just my pride talking.  
  
Having lived so long, pride was something I admitted to having to deal with more often than I liked to admit.  
  
"Why haven't you told Ned yet?" I asked and dug into his mind. "At least you have asked your past lovers. You really think that Ned is-"  
  
"I don't want to believe it, but...but from what all I've found out-" He continued.  
  
"You won't blame him, you'll never blame him. Not until things get really bad."  
  
"No, not until then. I hope I never get down to that blow. But you-"  
  
"No, I don't have any STDs. I would've found out if I did a long time ago."  
  
"But you don't keep track of all your lovers."  
  
"I have kept track of enough."  
  
Felix looked at me liked he wanted me to judge him. But I wouldn't do that. He had HIV which lead to AIDS. In face of this new epidemic, my former species had decided to panic in an understandable manner.  
  
They had decided that it was a disease for the gays and so the straight people were unaffected. As the majority in the USA saw homosexuality as a grave sin and being straight akin to saint hood, there was nothing being done about it.  
  
The community that Ned fought so hard for was suffering and dying while the government did nothing. And Ned's community wasn't going in the direction that he wanted. Each day he came back with more dead and each death weighed deeply on his mind.  
  
I highly doubted Felix's new problem would bring Ned any kind of comfort.  
  
"Do you want me to be with you as you tell him?" I asked Felix.  
  
"No," He said, shaking his head. "I need to do this alone."  
  
"You see this as being strong for him?"  
  
Felix just nodded and I embraced him, smelling his hair. Taking in his strength and wishing I could give him some of my own. His hand gently pulled my face down to his and we kissed.  
  
I pushed him against the wall as I started to take off his clothes. He needed this, he needed an escape.  
  
My kisses traveled down to his neck and there they stayed for a few minutes.  
  
"Ah..." Felix moaned and put his arms around my neck, pushing my mouth closer to him.  
  
Sometimes I fucked Ned alone. This time I was fucking Felix alone. Just Felix and myself. His body was just mine for now. He needed me and I wanted him.  
  
As I embraced him, my tail slid up and down his back. His grip tightened around my neck and a small moan escaped his lips. When I could feel his mind about to break in anticipation, I slowly slid it in.  
  
"Yes..." Felix moaned as if in relief.  
  
I started my thrusts slowly and smiled at Felix's need for me to go faster. To not wait. To take him and take him now. But I didn't. I waited as my cock swelled to its fullest size before I took my tail out of him and turned him around.  
  
I didn't take my time putting my cock in and soon my thrusts became quick, our breathing heavy. I loved hearing Felix moan, knowing I was the reason he was moaning. Knowing I was the reason he was banging his hands on the wall.  
  
My moans became loud and I had to keep it down, my moans of pleasure were much different than a human's and we were outside. My mind on constant alert as I just wanted to get lost.  
  
I kissed his neck as my hands felt his chest. It was almost like I was touching an angel's body. Not like Ned's, but perfect all the same.  
  
Felix and my body tensed up at the same moment. We didn't have to connect minds to time our climaxes to happen as one. His head went downwards and mine rested on his as I came into him.  
  
"I..." He said, his breathing making it hard for him to get any words out.  
  
"Yes." I said, kissing the top of his head.  
  
Maybe I had timed my climax with his because I knew he was not long for this world and I would miss him. Not just for fucking, but because he was an amazing person.  
  
"Round two?" I asked as I pulled out.  
  
He turned to face me and a pained smirk was on his face.  
  
"On the bed." He said and led me inside.  
  
I was not looking forward to feeling Ned's mind when he found out what Felix's fate was.


	12. Chapter 12

I looked out the window as Ned drove. I was now in the form of Felix as I didn't have a good persona to use at the time, plus neither of us wanted to deal with awkward questions. I kept looking away from Ned and he, in turn, stayed silent.  
  
In the silence there were so many things to be said and none of us were speaking. I didn't delve too much into Ned's mind as what he was dealing with...I could barely control my own reactions at time. Even when I was barely feeling Ned's mind, the pain was almost too great to bare.  
  
I really did feel like my life was now a curse.  
  
The windows were open and the wind felt good on my skin, but it wasn't enough comfort to curb the pain I was now feeling.  
  
"Do you want to-" I asked, my voice sounding weak so I could more properly imitate the man I was portraying.  
  
"He will live." Ned said as he continued his drive.  
  
Ned was in denial and I didn't blame him. He was living the life of a very young man, in comparison to my age, and this was his first great love that was ever dying.  
  
To me Felix was another man I cared about because of Ned. In truth, Felix had grown on me a lot. He wasn't like Ned but he was still a unique human being on his own. He was someone I would've wanted to spend more time with.  
  
He was a man whose death was making me sad. Not an easy thing to do.  
  
"Sometimes death happens, Ned." I told him gently even though I knew that wouldn't help.  
  
Ned was a man in pain and no kind words could help him now. Nothing would help him unless Felix was completely healed. I knew Ned was strong enough to carry on without his other half, but he would be a broken shell of himself.  
  
I had never found much use for the term soul mate, but every now and again I could see where the term could be applied. Such as in this instance.  
  
"It shouldn't happen." Ned said quietly. "Not to him. He doesn't deserve it."  
  
"I've seen more deserving humans die." I replied.  
  
"I doubt it."  
  
I put a hand on Ned's shoulder and he flinched so I removed myself.  
  
"Can't you save him?" Ned asked.  
  
"Nothing for certain." I told him slowly.  
  
"But there is a chance."  
  
"It would mean I would die."  
  
I wanted to say that Ned felt pity for why the decision was hard for me, but there wasn't enough at first. First he thought that anything would be worth saving Ned and then there was guilt at his thoughts. He loved me and part of him didn't want me to die, but another part would sacrifice me to save the man that he loved.  
  
I didn't blame him as Felix was a good man and I had lived longer than I should've.  
  
"Are you sure?" Ned said, not apologizing for his dark thoughts.  
  
My kind didn't interact much and not many had dared to do the act. While some of us thought we were cursed and undeserving of the long life we had been granted, we still couldn't come to kill ourselves. We would fight to live just as if we were still human.  
  
But the act tended to be used as a way to torture. The cursed would torment the human for days and then transfer, usually with the benefit of the now cursed human killing them in a blind rage. It was a way of suicide for the cursed and a way to torment the human.  
  
However, the act could be used for a purer way for Felix.  
  
"I could transfer Felix's mind into my body but I would have to go into his." I said.  
  
"And you would die." Ned said quietly. "Have any of your kind tried this before?"  
  
"Yes, but not to save."  
  
"Then for what reason?"  
  
"It is damaging to live for so long. To know that every morning you'll open your eyes to yet another dawn. Me and my kind have lived for far too long."  
  
"It can't be that bad, living forever."  
  
I laughed and felt his surprised. Of course a human with such a short lifespan could never guess at the horrors a long life could bring someone. I wish I could be so naive.  
  
"Ned, do you know why I can't form a monogamous relationships?" I finally asked after I calmed down. "Part of it is my preference and another part is necessity. Anyone I could form a relationship would die long before I drew my last breath. You're worried about Felix dying and I've seen so many die that I feel jealousy towards them at times. Dying is something I should be able to do but can't."  
  
Once I brought up Felix, I felt Ned start to turn to my way of thinking. He started to think about living without Felix and he couldn't. It was breaking him apart and when I put my hand on his he didn't pull away.  
  
"So if you do this...transfer, Felix will get all your powers?" Ned asked. "Including your long life?"  
  
I nodded and I felt more hurt coming from him. I didn't blame him as in the future, if I did the act, Felix would have to watch Ned die.  
  
"Yes, that was part of the reason it was used to torment." I told him. "It can drive a person insane living like this. The torment before adding to tormenting their victim for all eternity."  
  
"So Felix wou-" Ned started.  
  
"Felix would see you die and have to live afterwards. I don't want to die but sacrificing my life for Felix would make my death mean something."  
  
"So it's all up to me."  
  
I nodded and waited in dreaded silence for his reply. Some part of me wanted Ned to say yes to I could end my life, but another part knew neither would like the solution in the long run.


End file.
